


Hold Me, Heal Me

by renecdote



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, Get Together, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of, confession of feelings, there's a teensy bit of angst and then it's just sappy okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 15:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15464871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renecdote/pseuds/renecdote
Summary: No matter how many times Stephanie gets knocked down though, she always gets back up.After Steph gets hurt, she and Cass have a late night talk about how important they are to each other, though not in so many words.





	Hold Me, Heal Me

**Author's Note:**

> For wlwblackbat on tumblr, who requested: _confined to bed rest on the bingo chart & stephcass? love your writing btw <3_

Stephanie Brown gets knocked down a lot. In third grade, when she stood up to the school bully and he pushed her over on the playground in retaliation. As a high school freshman, when her dad went to jail (again) and she fell hard on the pavement a block from their apartment trying to run away from home. Her first night as Spoiler, when she got punched in the chest so hard she lay on her back in a grimy Gotham alley for almost half an hour trying to remember how to breathe properly. Tonight. Or was it last night? The details are fuzzy but Steph remembers slamming into a wall and then not much else. 

No matter how many times Stephanie gets knocked down though, she always gets back up. She climbed to her feet and punched that bully in the face and didn’t even care that she got suspended. She picked herself up off that sidewalk and treated her minor injury in a corner store bathroom. She kept up being Spoiler and got better at busting criminals without getting hurt. Tonight, or last night, whatever it was, she’ll shake that off too. 

The room Steph wakes up in is mostly dark and she feels sore and weak like she does when she’s pulled an all-nighter to study then slept way too long the next day. The sheets are too soft to be her own, a pale coloured cotton with a thread count high enough that she can only be in Wayne Manor. Or a five-star hotel, but the manor is more likely. Ignoring the twinge of pain in her back, Steph rolls over to drag herself out of bed and check her hypothesis. Eyes stare back at her from less than a foot away and she hastily stifles a scream that comes out as a squeak. 

“Sorry,” Cass says from the chair beside the bed. She doesn’t sound very sorry though, mostly amused. It’s too dark to see much more than the vague outline of her body beyond her face, leaned forward and propped up on her fist as she watches Stephanie. There’s the faint rustle of fabric as Cass shifts and it’s enough for Steph’s mind to conjure a vivid image of mint green satin pyjamas sliding across scarred skin. 

“Jesus Christ, Cass, you scared the crap out of me,” Steph says, hand against her racing heart, “warn a gal next time.”

“No,” Cass says. Her voice is suddenly fierce. So hard and serious it’s like it reached out and twisted Stephanie’s vocal cords into a knot because she has no idea what to say in response. There’s just this lump lodged in her throat where her words should be. 

Fabric rustles again, satin folding against itself as Cass reaches out and grabs Steph’s hand. “No,” she repeats, softer but just as serious. “Won’t be a next time. You-“ She blinks, three times in rapid succession, and her voice wavers when she continues, “You getting hurt… I never want there to be a next time.”

Those words are sweet, they should make Steph’s chest feel fuzzy and warm. Instead they sting. Everyone gets hurt in the vigilante business, whether they’re as good as Batman or as not-so-good as Steph was when she started out as Spoiler. It’s a staple of the trade. An unavoidable consequence of heroism. The only way there could be no next time is-

“No.” Steph sits up. This is not a conversation she is going to have (or take) lying down. “You can’t tell me- _Fuck. Ow._ ”

Twisting to point an indignant finger at Cass seemed like a good idea in the heat of the moment but now the moment is dying in a fiery burst of pain from Steph’s lower back. She hunches forward, sucking in deep breaths that don’t stop tears from biting at her eyes. When Steph was seven she broke her arm tumbling around the apartment and it was the worst pain of her young life. She’d sat in the middle of the floor bawling until her mother came to see what the noise was all about and thought _nothing will ever hurt his much_. That injury, that pain, feels a million miles away and a million times less than this does now. This feels more like the time she almost died. Steph doesn’t think about that though because thinking about that leads her to all sorts of dark, angry places.

The bed is moving around her, Cass propping a pillow behind her and leaning her back and wrapping wiry arms around her in a hug, but Steph is too focused on breathing through the pain to fully appreciate it. Every third breath hitches and soon warm tears are burning trails down her red cheeks. _Come on, Steph,_ she tells herself sternly, _shake it off._ The injury is probably not that bad, she would’ve been hooked up to all manner of machines and drugged up to her eyeballs if it was, but worst case scenarios are spinning through her mind. Surely it’s bad if Cass doesn’t want her to go out anymore.

“Alfred said no moving,” Cass says.

Steph is aware on some level that she’s not crying because of the pain anymore. That had brought the tears to her eyes but they probably would have sprung up anyway. “I have to,” she says, words garbled with tears that won’t stop no matter how hard Steph tries to get control of her emotions. 

Cass shakes her head. Her arms tighten around Steph. “No. You have to stay in bed. Have to heal.”

It’s Steph’s turn to shake her head. Screw healing, screw her back. Cass is supposed to be able to read people like a literature professor could read a children’s book, how is she not getting this? “No. You can’t-” Steph’s words are stuttering and she takes a deep breath that shudders through her chest when she lets it out. It helps a bit though, lets her get through the rest of her sentence. “You can’t stop me being a hero.”

Cass had been idly rubbing Steph’s shoulder but now her finger still. Her whole body becomes motionless, like a still photo taken of a play, the scene frozen in time just before the Shakespearean hero makes his big decision. Then Cass pulls back and puts a hand on the side of Steph’s face. Steph opens her eyes and it’s like waking up again, Cass staring back at her from only a few inches away this time. The room feels lighter now that Steph’s eyes have adjusted to the darkness and she can see the blurry details of Cass’s face pinched into a serious expression.

“Never,” Cass says. 

Steph rubs away the tears still running down her cheeks. “But you said….”

Cass tilts her head. It makes Steph smile a bit because it’s not something she’s always done. She picked it up from Dick and Bruce, who both do it when they’re thinking deeply about a puzzle. Steph always thought it was a bit cliche, right out of a detective novel, but then she caught herself doing it in surveillance footage of a crime scene. 

After a moment Cass nods to herself. “Still be hero, but no more getting hurt this bad,” she says. “I don’t like it when you’re hurt. What if…”

It’s easy to hear what she doesn’t say. _What if you get hurt so badly it can’t be fixed?_

It’s the kind of question that’s better not answered because it invites promises that can’t be kept in their line of business. There’s always going to be someone who needs saving, a risk that needs to be taken, a sacrifice that needs to be made. Injuries are inevitable. Death is far too close for comfort. Stephanie avoided it by the skin of her teeth once and she’s holding onto her second chance tightly, but she can’t stop doing things that tempt fate if it means helping others. 

“Hey,” Steph takes Cass’s hand and gently squeezes her fingers, “You too, okay? I couldn’t stand it if-“ She bites her lip, trapping the words inside. _I couldn’t stand it if I had to live without you._ Finishing that sentence would lead too easily into _I think I’m in love with you_.

Cass turns her hand over so their fingers tangle together and squeezes back. Ten seconds ago Steph was sure Cass couldn’t possibly know how she feels, as sure as she was that her crush would never be returned, but when warmth flutters through their joined hands and buzzes around her heart, she starts to think otherwise. It feels like something more than agreement when Cass says, voice as soft as a gentle spring breeze, “Me too.”

And then something strange happens. Strange and wonderful. Mostly just wonderful though because Stephanie being impulsive isn’t really strange. In the moment though, it feels surreal. She leans forward and kisses Cass. And Cass cups a hand behind Steph’s neck and kisses back. 

It’s a magical moment, broken when Steph’s back reminds her why moving isn’t a good idea. She makes an involuntary sound of pain in the back of her throat and Cass pulls away. There’s a wide smile on her face and the ache in Steph’s cheeks makes her think her own smile is just a big.

“Did that just happen?” she asks breathlessly. 

Cass reaches up to touch her lips. “You….”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

Steph feels like laughing. Her thoughts are doing cartwheels. “We should probably… talk about that. Or something.”

“Tomorrow. You need rest,” Cass says, gently pushing Steph’s shoulders until she’s lying back properly. When she tries to move away, Steph grabs her arm and tugs her down until Cass huffs in amusement and lies down beside her. She rests her head on Steph’s shoulder and even though her hair tickles Steph’s neck it feels nice.

“Well this is one way to keep me in bed,” Steph says, giddiness bubbling behind the words. She can’t believe she just kissed Cass. She can’t believe Cass kissed her back. Wow. 

Cass’s arm snakes around her waist and she cuddles as close as she can. It’s not the first time they’ve shared a bed, not even the first time they’ve cuddled, but this time it’s different. The air is electric, Steph’s blood is buzzing, emotions crash together in her chest, each more vibrant than the last. Happiness. Joy. Contentment. Love. She wonders whether she’s the only one noticing how much brighter the world feels.

“Go to sleep, Steph,” Cass says. And even though Steph feels like she never needs to sleep again, she eventually does. The pain in her back feels far away and her dreams are sweet knowing Cass will be there when she wakes up in the morning. They have a lot to talk about, but it will be fine. More than fine. The whole damn world is more than fine knowing Cassandra Cain might be in love with her too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :) If you liked it, I'd love to know what you thought. You can also find me on tumblr [here](http://tantalum-cobalt.tumblr.com).


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